Jen’s Journal

The notion of God-given gifts or charisms seems to be popping up in my life a lot lately, and this has gotten me thinking: How does one know how one is supposed to cultivate a particular gift? How does one know how and when one should use a particular gift? Is it possible to waste one’s gifts even if one is committed to following God?

Let me get into some particulars here. In Lay Formation this semester, we did this spiritual gifts inventory thing, which is basically a test that is supposed to help you discern what some of your gifts might me. My top gifts, unsurprisingly, turned out to be writing, knowledge, and celibacy (if that doesn’t sound like a Dominican vocation, then I don’t know what does?!). I refer to these gifts as unsurprising because, well, they have been affirmed by other sources. Lots of people have told me that I write well and I’ve seen how writing is a beneficial tool for both me and hopefully others. I also know that I love to study and learn and share my knowledge with others. And I’m not big on looking for a boyfriend. If we put the celibacy part on the side, though, the question is, how am I supposed to use my gifts for writing and knowledge? Some of my professors have really insisted that I should go on to doctoral studies when I get done at AI since I have the ability to do the work. I don’t deny that I could probably do the work and that a doctorate might be somewhere down the line for me, but I’m not sure that I want to go right into doctoral work after AI. In fact, at this point, what looks like the best next step for me is entering religious life. Now, there are some people who would totally disagree with this position, suggesting things like: “If you enter religious life, it might be years before you can do doctoral work, and that’s if they allow you to do it at all!” or “Make sure you choose a more modern community that will allow you to be educated and teach in higher education, just like a man/priest.” Part of me sees where these responses are coming from. People don’t want me to waste my gifts. I don’t want to waste them either. But, if I make religious life a priority over doctoral work, do you really think that God will be upset that I’m “wasting my gifts?” Wouldn’t God be happy that I am devoting my life to him and wouldn’t he most likely make sure that my gifts aren’t wasted? I mean, what good is it for me to “use my gifts” if I am not using them according to God’s will and plan? Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to offer myself fully to God, trusting that he will use me in the best way possible, according to who I am and the gifts that I’ve been given?

The temptation is there for me to pursue what the world sees as the best way to use my gifts, but I think that I ultimately have to trust God’s providence on this one. If when I am done my degree here, it seems like the best next step for me is doctoral work, then I’ll assume that God is leading me in that direction. But, if the next best step seems to be entering religious life, then I think that I have to go that route, trusting that God will not let my gifts go to waste. If that means never getting a doctorate, then maybe that will mean that God wanted me to use my gifts in some capacity that didn’t require that degree. As long as I am doing God’s will, nothing else matters. I know that I will be happy.

This is my last post for the day; I promise!  (It’s funny how interesting things seem to come up all at once)

The end of the semester is quickly approaching and that means lots and lots of work.  I have a paper due for my class on the Gospel of Mark this Thursday.  I have a paper due for morality the following Thursday.  Somewhere after that I have a Christology project/paper due.  And then I have an exam for Sacramental and Theological Foundations for Ministry, a short paper for Lay Formation, and an oral group exam for morality.  Sound like enough??

Pray for me and all students as we finish up another semester of seeking knowledge of the truth.  I’m sure we could all use a little God-inspired motivation!

I just saw an article online today about a new study conducted by CARA (Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate) on attitudes and beliefs regarding Sacraments, prayer, and other practices of the faith.  Some of the study’s findings were positive, but probably the biggest concerns that I had are that millenial Catholics (those born after 1981) were the largest of the generations surveyed to strongly agree that they could be good Catholics without attending Mass each week (38%), less than a quarter of all those surveyed said that they attended Mass once a week, and 30% of those surveyed said they go to confession less than once a year, while 45% said that they never made a Sacramental confession.  This disconnect between participation in the Sacraments and believing and living the faith is disturbing to me.  As the CARA study itself concluded, “frequency of Mass attendance is a strong indicator of the general importance of Catholicism in a person’s life and of his or her level of commitment to living out the faith.”  The Sacraments are really essential to the faith, and it is disturbing to me that many Catholics don’t see this.  Not only this, but the Sacraments are wonderful gifts given to us by God to help us in our journey towards communion with him/everlasting life/a share in his divine life.  Why would we want to reject these gifts?!  I don’t know if there is bad cathechesis going on or what, but somehow the message clearly isn’t getting across.

This year seems to be quite the year for celebrations, especially when it comes to ministry in the Church.  This past Thursday, the AI community celebrated the 50th anniversaries of religious profession for Sister Carla Mae Streeter and Sister Pat Chaffee, both Racine Dominicans (although I think Pat’s anniversary was actually last year).  Unbeknownst to most at the time, Thursday was also George Boudreau, O.P.’s Silver Jubilee as a priest (25 years).  And today, we celebrated the 30th anniversary of Fr. Harry Byrne, O.P.’s ordination and the 40th anniversary of Fr. David Wright, O.P.’s ordination!  That’s 195 years of service to the Lord and his Church if you add it all up!  How cool!  And, Fr. Tom McGonigle O.P., the current Director of the Center for Catholic and Dominican Studies at Providence College and former president of AI, also celebrates his 40th anniversary of ordination this year too (yep, he was in David’s class)!  So many faithful men and women!  It is people like these who inspire me and help me to believe that the Church is in good hands, despite all the difficulties.  Yes, the Church is human and imperfect and sinful at times, but it is also graced and full of willing and dedicated servants of God.  The Shepherd truly watches over his flock through men and women like these!

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. I suppose spring break and Easter have something to do with that, along with the busyness of the semester. But, I’m back now and rarin’ to go for the remainder of this semester.

Speaking of Spring Break, I had a really good time this year visiting the Dominican Sisters in Justice, Illinois. They are a Polish congregation and, while they’ve been in the US for 80 years, they are just now starting to develop US vocations. The best way that I can describe the community is “traditional and pious, but down-t0-earth and human.” They really were very joyful and seemed to know how to joke and have fun. And they are of course thoroughly Dominican, which I love! It was definitely nice to be introduced to this community, and I hope to visit again in the future.

For our short Easter break, I went home to Maryland for a few days to be with my family. While it was a short trip, it was nice to be home and see my dogs and relax. The break definitely left me recharged which is exactly what I needed in order to attack the rest of this semester. I have two difficult papers to complete - one on the salt sayings in the Gospel of Mark and one on whether the government has a moral obligation to provide its people with access to mental health care - and a Christology paper/project. I know I’ll get all the work done and will learn a lot in the process, but the next few weeks will definitely be intense.

In the meantime, I currently am on an admissions trip with Dave Werthman, AI’s admission’s director. We are visiting my alma mater Providence College in RI to introduce students to AI and give them some information about doing ministry. I love being able to tell people how much I love AI and what a great experience I am having in grad school!

Well, that’s about it for now. I promise to update again soon!