Journal of Michelle Smith

I am currently enrolled in Foundations of Catholic Morality and SPM I (Supervised Practice of Ministry). The reason it seems light is because I took my Old Testament elective, Torah/Pentateuch, during summer school.

I am enjoying the richness of discussion in both my classes, but I am not as engaged personally as I have been for the last two years. The problem is that I feel I’m being called to something more and I’m trying to turn the volume down.

So much of Lay Formation classes have been about discerning our gifts and our call to ministry. What has been wonderful about Aquinas has been the transformative effect that my studies have had in my life. I am a different person than when I arrived.

The first week in SPM this semester, we were asked to write down to whom we feel called to serve in ministry. The difficulty I am having is that I feel called to serve people outside of my parish. That’s a good thing, right? Not if you are a full-time lay minister responsible for leading the spiritual growth of young people IN your parish.

It is during the difficult times that I grow closer to God, so this time will be no different than the others.

My problem isn’t hearing the call; it’s answering the call.

So, for those who are unaware, my church, St. Alphonsus “Rock” Church was struck by lightning and damaged by a 5-alarm fire that ensued. It took over 40 fire trucks and nearly 150 firefighters to put the fire out that has forced our community to turn our gym into a temporary sanctuary.

There is such good news that comes out of the fire. First, NO ONE WAS INJURED as a result of the fire. Also, that more damage was not done is a blessing. Most of the damage was to the roof and water and soot damage to the interior, but the structure of the building is still sound and in tact. Another blessing is that we had thousands of dollars of materials that our dance ministry and arts and environment ministry maintains in the attic of the church. We have a beautiful pipe organ that appears to be okay. We have an entire community within the city limits and outside the city on both sides of the river and across the globe who have offered their prayers, their money, their expertise, their time and their energy to help us however they can. These are just a few of the blessings.

The ironies of that day for me are that I had just returned to work that day after being off for two weeks following being hospitalized for a kidney infection and pneumonia. In fact, just that morning I had told our new pastor who’d been in town just one day that we were going to have a “new beginning, a rebirth.” From my mouth to God’s ears, huh? Little did I know what God had in store. Another irony is that the name of the choir that was rehearsing when the lightning struck the church is “The Voices of Thunder,” our men’s choir. Yeah, it’s okay to chuckle at that one. Let’s not forget the Gospel reading in church the Sunday after the fire: Jesus said, “I have come to set the earth on fire.” Fr. Matthew told us that day in his homily how he knew God was up there laughing at him. What he also did was talk about how being a Christian can cause division from the secular world, but unity among other Christians. What a powerful message.

He also talked about how the fire that has us out of our church for at least a year had done more for our parish than he could have ever hoped to do in 10 years as pastor. I think he’s right and I hope and pray that we maintain the level of unity that he preached about that day. I hope we remember, as we did that fateful night that WE ARE THE CHURCH; not the building. I hope we make the most of the Holy Smoke.