Journal of Sr. Carla Mae Streeter, O.P.

The Catholic tradition is very clear that Jesus knew no sin, but became sin for us in his sacred humanity. By taking on our rejection of God, his passion shows us what we have done to ourselves and what we do to one another. In his flesh we see that sin shreds our humanity. In the mystery of the crucified we see the Word of God mute. We see the God of Sinai’s thundering word silent. We see the Word of God married indissolubly to human brokenness.

But what does this really mean? How do we speak of this in a meaningful way today – in our time, to our students, to our friends, and to ourselves? Is this but a worn out belief, and as such meaningless for our day-to-day lives?

The sinlessness of Jesus needs to be looked at anew. We might begin by admitting that we who do the looking are broken human beings. We’ve been broken and suffer the effects of the decisions others have made. We are often the victims of the decisions of parents, teachers, clergy, doctors, and strangers. We didn’t ask to be victims. We enter this world taking our place alongside our fellow human beings who suffer from its violence, corruption, and pollution. And all this as we draw our first infant breath!

But most of us also entered the world of someone’s love and care, of someone’s tenderness and instruction. Here we learned how not to remain victims. Here we learned hope and trust and even forgiveness. We learned how to live beyond our brokenness, beyond the urge for vengeance, beyond manipulation, corruption, and violence.

What would it look like for a human being to start out not being broken? What would it be like to start out whole? What if the ego was clear not opaque? What if the person was selflessly open, not cramped with selfishness? We really don’t know. We’ve not been there. This is simply not part of our experience of ourselves.

To be honest, my selfishness comes to my rescue. When I don’t want to listen to you, or to your opinions, I just shut you out. When past trauma engraves itself on my psychic memory and paralyzes my choices, I shut down. When I emotionally lose my cool, I chalk it up to inheriting the bad temper of my father. I escape – from my very self.

But what if there is no escape? What if my clear openness makes me see the truth you are trying to tell me? What if I can’t hide your rejection of me in the privacy of my psychic scarring? What if it’s right up front in my conscious awareness, right before my very eyes? What if I feel every human emotion without the escape that repression offers? I would love passionately and hate evil with all my soul. I’d long for what might be with all my being, and be repelled from what would rob me of it. I’d know spontaneous joy, and taste the depths of sorrow and compassion. I’d know the fear of losing what I love and the courage of choices true to myself. I’d hope for the full realization of all I could be, and realistically accept my human limitations. In other words, I would experience full human vulnerability and human beauty – without sin and its effects. I would be really me.

Perhaps that’s what we mean when we say Jesus is sinless. He knows the fullness of human vulnerability and beauty. Perhaps that’s why he is the Way, the Gate, the Door, the Truth, the Life. He shows me how to really enter into my very self.

Carla Mae Streeter, OP