Always Distinguish(ed).

Well, two months later I have finally mustered the efforts to give the ol’ blog some TLC.  After deleting over 500 spam comments, each with its own unique sort of spam-i-ness (and that was less than half, I still have about 600 to go through), I have to give the award for Best Comment to one particularly unique comment.

While much of the spam was repeated, a large bulk of comments coming from just a few sources, either talking about certain phone devices beginning with the letter ‘i’, a recurring comment from time to time asking for advice about purchasing entertainment centers in bulk for a hotel (with, of course, a variety of links to entertainment centers for sale), promotional material for a certain kind of drug “just for men”—and no, I don’t mean the cure for male pattern baldness—and so on… but, I think that this one took the cake.  It was simple, it was poignant, it had almost a crestfallen or desperate tone to it… it was, in short, beautiful:

“Please, how can I buy a unicorn.”

Wow.  Imagine a young person anguishing over trying to find a unicorn, let alone one available for purchase.  What, do you think, is the going rate for a unicorn these days?  Are they, for instance, more expensive depending on the length of their horn, the whiteness of their coat, or perhaps the purchase price is the loss of innocence one must endure in order to trap him.  The unicorn, traditionally, could only be captured by ‘unfair’ means, but also, a maiden (parthenos), that is, a virgin was the only one who could tame the wild, strong, and good beast.  Thus the unicorn became a symbol for Christ in the Middle Ages, as the Virgin Mary “tamed” the valiant and beautiful Son of God.

Interesting enough, the KJV translated the Hebrew re’em as unicorn: “[God] hath, as it were, the strength of a unicorn.” (Numbers 23:22)

And Marco Polo, upon seeing rhinoceri in India, described them as unicorns, saying that popular notions of the unicorn were wholly inaccurate and quite the opposite to the reality: this rather ‘ugly’ beast with dark skin and horn and a rather unfriendly temperament.

Mi unicornio azul ayer se me perdió,

no sé si se me fue, no sé si se extravió…

Y yo no tengo más que un unicornio azul,

si alguien sabe de él, le ruego información:

cien mil o un millón yo pagaré.

According to Silvio Rodríguez, a unicorn is worth at least $100,000 to $1,000,000. If only I knew where to buy them, I could help this person out.